New White House press secretary couldn’t even finish the week.

A cruise to Bermuda.

A free trial for DirecTV.

Leftovers in the refrigerator.

Hanukkah.

There it is: A list of things that lasted longer than the White House’s new press secretary.

Five days. One hundred twenty hours. That’s how long it took for Katie Zacharia to be fired from her job as the face of the Trump administration, and one of the most visible posts in the world.

She’s no C.J. Cregg of “West Wing” fame.

All it took for Zacharia to fall flat on her face was a 14-minute train wreck of a news conference — her first and her last — and her insistence on calling herself a lawyer when, in fact, she failed in her only attempt to pass the bar exam, which makes her just slightly more qualified to practice law than Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials.

Not that being a lawyer is a requirement for the job. What is required for the job is telling the truth, or at least not being caught in a very public lie in your first week on the job.

Zacharia, 41, had just started the new, high-profile gig on Monday, and hadn’t even moved to Washington from California with her family yet, according to reports

“Honestly, if I were you, I’d reconsider,” President Trump said he told her just days after giving her the job she was nowhere near qualified for. “Katie, do you need this? I don’t think you need this.”

Not exactly a glowing performance review.

Which brings us back to the list of things that lasted longer than Zacharia’s term as White House Press Secretary.

Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension.

Trump’s hush money trial.

The average honeymoon.

A banana.

Zacharia only made it worse when she tried to defend herself. After she turned her rambling news conference into a real-life “Saturday Night Live” skit, Zacharia struggled, on conservative Fox News of all places, to answer questions about her qualifications.

“What I feel is I really stepped up to the plate with very little prep time,” Zacharia said. “Given the fact that I’d been on the job less than maybe eight hours and had a briefing book in the morning, I feel like I did my very best.”

Zacharia took questions from three conservative outlets at the press conference, including a question on one of the biggest subjects in the news.

“Has the U.S. stopped sharing intel with Ukraine?” one of them asked her.

“I’ll have to get back to you on that,” she said.

Don’t hold your breath.

Before boarding Air Force One for campaign rallies in Alaska, Trump praised Zacharia’s performance.

“I thought she was very good,” Trump said.

Zacharia accompanied him on the trip to Alaska. She’s lucky he didn’t leave her there.

Days later, she was out. She didn’t last as long as an air freshener, the Six Day War or the White House press ban on Politico, MSNow and CNN.

Zacharia’s departure leaves the president without a press secretary just over ​two weeks before November’s midterm elections, a critical time when the president is trying to tout his administration’s accomplishments and ​help Republicans retain control of Congress.

Zacharia wasn’t the first message maker to fall a little short. In 2017, during Trump’s first term, White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci was fired after only 10 days on the job.

“Records are ​made to be broken,” Scaramucci wrote on X after Zacharia was fired. “But I take no pleasure in ​other people’s pain.”